please, answer the door
ladies and non-ladies, sometimes we have talents that we weren’t aware existed! sometimes, we should probably know about these talents. but sometimes, it is absolutely essential, much like a bloody mary on a sunday (pickles, not olives…ew).
we are, i hear, (unfortunately??) human. uhh!
and not only that, but we sometimes do dum when we should do smart, because impatience is a virtue of the short-attention-span crowd. dude. we are all it. don’t pretend you ain’t. (in my personal experience, i had more success when i was just a cartoon, this real person thing is HARD some-time! who made me into a live-action character? prease hewp meh.)
anyway, more about me. i know you’re curious. assuming you read this. if you’re not reading this, then what’s that funny squeaky sound?
yes, i’ll get to it. ahh…so, i could be all ”whatever!!!” and pretend that i don’t wanna get to the heart of my matter$, but now that i’m 30, i admit things readily. i do. i will tell you, and anyone with a face, yes…yes, i do want to figure out why it seems as though i’ve slammed the locker door of sweetness on my own sappy finger. uh, bad metaphor.
it’s a semi-sorry state of affairs to be in, when your demeanor/actions don’t match your feelings/intentions. but if i look at a few different aspects of my life, past and present, this is a common denominator. i effing hate math! what are the facts? well for startings, to rule may mean to sometimes have the funniest jokes at the water cooler. duh.oh, yeah, so against my better intent, i am always freakin’ LATE to EVERYTHING! i mean, i’ve been, since a very early age, unable to depend on people and things to be consistent. so i think maybe this is the seed that was planted in me to not take things as seriously as i should when they are important.
and i theorize that the reason i occassionally may not emote as much as i should when it comes to matters of the <3, is perhaps because (and i hate to be one of these people with issues/baggage) i have been disappointed and hurt whether i should have known better or not, and i am very much now in the throes of passionately figuring out how not to add insult to injury. part of the problem is, what issss ittttt? obviouslayyy, normally, i say c’est la vie. but i don’t have too much experience with awesomes who rule on not ruling my ruling, even if its lack. especially since it’s all i can think about! wtf. lolz.
love,
ruling-thoughtful-on-a-saturday
note: the song that accompanies this post, and maybe my whole life, lol, is: Fiona Apple, “A Mistake” 
(if you wanna make sense/whatcha lookin’ at me for?)
